Sweet girl. When did it happen?
I look around the house and see the evidence. The bouncy seats are packed away. Gone is the pack n play to change the million newborn diapers. The play gym has disappeared back into the plastic container. The baby bjorn hasn’t been pulled out in months, and has found a home in the clothing tubs. Those clothing tubs that are stuffed to the brim with newborn and 0-3 month sized onesies that I couldn’t squeeze over your chubby legs if I wanted to. Your baby bathtub was thrown out with the trash. Two kiddos later, and that thing had seen prettier days.
I know it happened. I know I lived it. But I am just caught unaware.
Then this weekend was the beginning of the end. Daddy went on a big trip to Grandma’s house, and you went too. My little muffin girl that I never thought would take a bottle or be done nursing is….. done. You, little Ellie, who HATED taking a bottle. Would only do it under extreme conditions. Like starving conditions. It had to be the right bottle, at the right temperature milk, the right everything. And forget about leaving you with some formula. No way. This little lady had to have 100% organic milk, pumped so lovingly from her mama.
While we are on the subject, lets just talk about breastfeeding. I did it with two children. Bradley was done with nursing at 8 months. He would nurse in the morning and at night, and then during the day he had more important things to do. Like learn to crawl, walk, and get into everything in the house. Now Ellie was different, and she preferred it. She also just learned to crawl a week or two ago.
It is an empowering experience to breastfeed your child. To know that you played a huge roll in growing them from this….
I will say that you learn a lot about yourself, motherhood, sacrifice, and loving another being more than yourself in the process. It is you that wakes up in the middle of the night. It is you who runs in first thing in the morning to feed them. Which by the way may be the most precious moments I have shared with Ellie. Those morning feedings when she is all snuggled up and looking at me like I am the most important being on Earth. They are relying on you for everything, and it can be tiring and amazing at the same time.
I am glad I did it. I think it is one of my greatest accomplishments besides giving birth to Ellie and Bradley. I learned that my own needs do not come first when you are a mother. They come second, third, or sometimes not at all. I also learned about my own strength, and my own will to see something through. Something that may be harder than I imagined. But it also the most rewarding and fulfilling experiences I have done as a mom.
So, let’s cheers to a year of breastfeeding completed. And to a little baby that went and grew up with out asking me.
Where’s my wine??